Sunday, May 12, 2013

Celebrate the Roses... but also the Thorns.

Dedicated to: the very human monsters among us, and the Mothers that fight and strive to overcome them.

I include myself in that category by the by; I have some all-too-human monsters I battle with for the sake of my children as well. I know what it feels like. I contend with it every year. I have fought and fought for what I believed was best for my children and gone toe to toe with family and friends... and most of the time I was overruled by the man I chose to be their father. He was a mistake, but my children weren't, and I didn't know any better at the time. And now they are far away from me because I don't have the resources (read: money) to fight for them. All I have left is my words, and so far even they have failed me.

I was not planning on my first May Monster Madness, and truth be told I didn't actually get on the list, but it's a worthwhile theme to write on anyway...  What's that, you ask? Well, Magaly has been chattering on and off about Annie Wall's May Monster Madness blog hop since "...to the Bone" that I enjoyed so much, so it rather inspired me. Now, I'd planned to take Starsoul excerpt #2 and beef it up a bit and re-post it, but there's an article that takes precedence, and since it is Mother's Day, after all... well. I posted some of this on my Facebook a little while ago, but felt it needed re-addressing here. I apologize in advance if this rains on your Mother's Day parade, but we need to remember that being a Mother isn't all roses... there's a lot of thorns to contend with as well. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

So. The article: Mother Forced to Pay Spousal Support to Man who Raped Daughter - followed by my commentary:

On this Mother's Day, let's not forget the more somber side of being a Mother, for that too is to be celebrated. The tears, the anguish, the fears. We cry for our children when we can't protect them. We cry when they are stolen from us through trickery and false pretenses. We hurt when they hurt, and we are not always allowed to show it. We hurt because they are so small and tender and dear, and then they grow up and all we're left with is memories. We fear for their past; did we do our jobs right? Did we teach them what they need to grow into a happy healthy individual? We fear for their present; what are they doing right now? How are they feeling? Are we doing everything we can or should be doing for them? Are they happy and fulfilled? We fear for their future; will they be happy? Will they have a good life? Have we given them the tools they need to face life with lifted chin and an eager smile? And more importantly, have we taught them what they need to face adversity with strength and perseverance, and come out on the other side better and stronger for it?

Celebrate, Mothers. Celebrate the hard, agonizing side of being what we are, just as much you celebrate the joys. And celebrate each other - laugh with each other, cry with each other - for you are each sacred and divine for the gift of life you bestow, not just in the carrying and the birthing but also in the raising of that tiny, tender, sweet life that is never the same moment to moment, whose time to call yours is so short.

But also do not forget that this world does not love you, so you must find those who will. From the single mother who has no family and must work three jobs to support her kids, to the mother who has everything and everyone to support her that she could ever ask for... all we have is each other, and our love for our children. ♥  

Maybe this is a rather harsh wake-up call, but we need to remember that being a mother isn't all roses. It's about hard decisions, about tears and working oneself to the bone. It's about enduring shit like what's in this article, that the world forces on us. And we are damn amazing, strong, beautiful creatures for the simple fact that we CAN endure it. Because sometimes that's all we can do. But we do it for the children that we love, so it's always worth it in the end.

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