Wednesday, February 22, 2012

"I only want what's best for you..."

How many times have you heard someone say that to you?  How many times have you -known- without a shadow of a doubt, that they were wrong, but went along with in anyway, because you didn't want to argue, or hurt them, or maybe doubted yourself?  How many times did you figure out only too late that you were right and they were terribly, horribly wrong?

In my humble and oft-discounted opinion, it is not those who actively seek your destruction who are the worst sort of people. It is those who claim (and may even believe) that they only want the best for you while doing the worst possible thing they could "for" you, claiming it is for your benefit...! As if another person, someone who can never see into the inner workings of your mind or truly understand the labyrinthine spirals, could know better than you what is truly best for you. It is those people who are the worst monsters, for it is those people who are hardest to convince that they are wrong. It is those people who try the hardest and are often the most successful at destroying the people they love best.

This counts for fathers and mothers who try to counteract or over-control their children.  This counts for brothers and sisters who undermine and undercut their siblings.  This counts also for religious leaders, community leaders... even governments.

Anytime someone looks at you and says "I only what what's best for you" or "I'm only doing this for your benefit" or "I'm only looking out for you" look twice at what they're doing.  And then take a long, hard look at the relationship.  Find a gentle, polite, un-hurtful way to tell them No Thank You, and Keep Your Nose Out Of My Business.  How many of you will the realize that while you may love them, that person is not to be trusted, and maybe never again?

I've been in this position far too often for my own comfort.  It hurts.  A lot.  Especially when you realize that, yes, this person whom you trusted, should have been able to trust implicitly, really does not have your true best interests in mind and has no idea what you want, or need, or what is best for you... and then they do the exact opposite, hurting you in the worst way possible, doing to you the thing most likely to destroy you, all the while claiming that they love you and we're only thinking of what's best for you, only trying to take care of you....

Next time, ask that person, very nicely, if they can just trust you instead, and help you do what you believe is good and right and true for your own well-being. I should have. Maybe things would be better now, if I had.  Maybe I wouldn't have lost nearly everything I care about.  Maybe I wouldn't be facing a long, hard, miserable war up the side of a mountain to get it back...

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Believe.

I do not believe
the God you preach about
would ask me to give up happiness
in favor of your version of righteousness

I do not believe
the God you teach about
would tell me to sacrifice my Self
just for the sake of someone else's peace of mind.

I really think
the God you claim to know
would not tell me that I can't have it all
just because it doesn't fit with your ideas.

I have flown on wings
that took me higher than any eagles could
can you say the same?
I have fallen farther
to depths no whale could breach
do you know what that feels like?

I have often wished upon a star
and never had those dreams come so near to true
Only to have it torn so far
You never even asked me what I dreamt to do.

And now I am ineffectual
Powerless to stem the tide against me
Are you pleased with what you've done?
Let me count the ways you've tried to end me.

Never mistake, never forget
I will rise again
And it will be you regretting
That you did not remember who I was.